Jealous a bit?

My whole life seems to have involved jealousy is some way, but only from the women in my life. From the time I was born, I swear, my Mom was jealous of me. Wait- no- I think she actually hated me at times. She always said I looked and acted just like my Dad, whom she is now divorced from. Seriously, have you ever heard of a mother hating he child for that?? Okay, for any reason? Well this isn't a blog about how awful my childhood was. I mean, for the most part, it was pretty good. My Mom, did/does love us. She just loves herself a little more. Okay- I'll save the story for another post, I promise.

Back to the jealousy thing. My daughther, age 9, is jealous of me. When my DH went to the jewelry store to buy me a 10 yr anniversary ring, she would NOT even help pick it out- dead silence from her. My son, age 7, picked it out instead. What a good boy! She says things like "nice new (fill in the blank), Mom (rollling eyes)". This is all the time! I know, it doesn't seem like a big deal, but really it is. She is a great kid, and not deprived of anything, really. But it is just the insinuations that come from her, UGH!

For the past few years, I've become very close to this girlfriend of mine. I have known Lisa for a long time, but through our kids and boating activities we became close. Okay, I mean we did everything together. I should preface this by stating the fact that I have never and probably will never have a "best friend". I am one of those people who is very careful about labeling my relationships with others.

So if you've been reading, you already know I have 2 children. Well, having them has depleted my breasts, to say the least. I have thought about augmentation off and on for about 8 years or so. My husband said "no.. I love you just the way you are" and truthfully that made me feel great and frustrated at the same time. This past early summer, my DH was looking at the various catalogs I get in the mail at the new swimsuits and cute tops he would love for me to have. I should tell you also, that he is very anti-bra. Well when you have deflated bobies like me, a bra is a must. Yes, I hate strapless bras. I can never get any to fit properly, but I need the lift. So anyway I said " You know if I had bigger, fuller boobs I would not have to wear a bra..." He said "Seriously?"

Well that was it. I scheduled an appointment for a consultation and after that I made a surgery date. I could not wait to tell my friends, especially Lisa. She was going to be so excited for me! Well, guess what? She was so upset (crying, etc.) . I didn't know what to do. Our other friends were shocked. She said was was just upset b/c I didn't tell her I was even thinking about it, and I didn't involve her more. Huh? I was pi$$ed! I thought friends were supposed to be supportive of eachother. Well it didn;t take me long to figure out that she was so jealous. That was not my intention, but apparently that is what she thought. Our friendship has unraveled severly from there. I'm not sure there is hope for it anymore. I do miss having someone to vent to and gossip with. I should also say, I have appologized for upsetting her (in hindsight, I'm not sure why?). But she has not EVER congratulated me, or asked how everything went, or appolgized for being so nasty to me. At the very, I really expected some explanation from her. I mean we are/were friends, right? Now when we see eacthother, she acts as if nothing has happened between us. It's like a big elephant is in the room, but no one mentions it. This is driving me, and the majority of our mutual friends crazy. Sable, a great friend of both of us has tried to resolve things. The last attempt was to get us three couples together like the good old days. And we did have fun, lots of fun, in the past. All of our husbands miss hanging out with eachother. So this is the weekend we all get together. Sable believes Lisa needs to admit her mistakes as well. We all believe she will feel so much better. Oh yeah, did I tell ya... I just heard that Lisa had an augmentation this winter.... Hmmm. This will be an interesting Saturday night. Am I niave enough to think everyone deserves to be happy?