A little about me

Well, I am going to finally try this. Blogging!! Woo Hoo!!

Okay, now that that is over with..... let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a thirty something married woman with 2 great kids, a girl and a boy. Wow- I do have the whole package. I really do. My husband is great. We have a very comfortable relationship and he is by far the best Dad I have ever known. So why am I blogging, you ask? Good question. I used to keep a journal, but honestly I would rather type. And sometimes I need other people to read my thoughts. It helps to keep them real.

I have been on medication for depression for about 5 years. I know some people believe this is a cope out. But I don't. I don't think any person should feel embarrassed for being on medication. I know I need it. If I go one day without it, I FEEL it, as does everyone around me. I guess my depression can best described as a feeling of hate for myself. It is like really severe PMS. You know that you are acting like a b**ch, but cannot help it. And you would, if you could. I have tons of things to accomplish, but will not do anything, I mean just getting out of bed is an achievement. I am unable to pinpoint the source of my problem, therefore I am unable to solve it. Why? Because there is no problem. I told you, my life is great. Depression hurts, it really hurts.

Even on medication I still have my bad days. That's NORMAL. I want to have feeling, you know. Today, well it ranks about a 5, on a scale from1-10. That's pretty good. Although I am avoiding all of my other priorities to write this. Hey- This is therapy... To get through day to day, we all need something to look forward to, right. Today, I am looking forward to a bicycle ride with my family and a wonderful dinner made by my husband. I am not looking forward to the overwhelming responsibilities listed: help with homework, clean up after dinner, clean my basement carpets, fold the 8 loads of clean laundry awaiting me(not kidding), put away the laundry... okay this can go on forever! And I do not get home until at least 5:00 pm. Hm mm... I wonder what I will put off.....


Okay so you may think this is boring and, well, depressing. Yes it is. But it is my life and nobody is perfect, right. Just wait until I get into my twice divorced, bipolar, recovering alcoholic mother. Is is true what they say.. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree?" Now that's depressing!